A few posts ago there was mention about how everyone seems to be getting faster. Here is one such example.

This is Kris, or more aptly named "Popeye". He is a chef by trade and a bike assassin by hobby. Yes his speed on the bike is increasing to a concerning level, but he has a secret.

*O.K. before we go any further, let me state I know how creepy the below video and its content might seem, but it is all in the name of documentation.

Popeye's secret is concealed in the areas located between his knee caps and his ankles. He possesses calves like no other. These are pure watt machines that when engaged inflict worldly doom. In fact during a ride on April 15th 2010, Popeye pointed his road machine into a bloc headwind, tapped out a vicious tempo, and accidentally triggered the Eyjafjallajökull volcano in Iceland. Cataclysmic power.

There it is. Believe me, in person they are terrifying, but I would love to own a set. So in the words of some German ancestor of his "The Popeye takes in the schnetzeil and beer, and outputs the death and the pain - this is his training secret." Well that, and his huge lower extremities.


  1. How did you have the babies asses sewn into your lower legs. Did you have to go to Europe for the surgery?

    The guys calves in the video riding next to him are actually enormous but next to Kris' look tiny.

    The Butcher

  2. First of all i am very flattered by the post. Secondly butcher, there is a little clinic outside Munich. I think it is what got my grandpa banned from Germany, great implants but alot of secrets . It has been a detriment for a long while, pants that don't fit odd look as seen in video. It is nice to see that my calves are finally accepted... Video kinda of creepy....

  3. Dear Mr. Bikesabbath,
    I agree with kris very creepy video,,, this video gets me tinking what other vedio's do you have of us????????

    Signed frecked outt

  4. Kris those are some Sexy legs!!
    P.S call me

  5. I would love to get my hands all over those legs! Stop by the office sometime and I will rub them down.....

  6. John, Manny
    What is wrong with you guys???????
    Seriously, I'm very disturbed by these post.
    But on the other hand they are very Big and nice legs!
    Wish I had them!!!

  7. When I said creepy I meant it in a good way. In that I will let you video me anytime anywhere..

  8. His secret is revealed: a juicer + spinach + water bottle = instance leg power. Please note the picture of Kris in the post - Could that be spinach juice in the water bottle?

  9. It's probably a tequila sunrise William. No wonder we can't seem to maintain friendships in the cycling community, listen to what you guys are saying.

    The Butcher